Saturday, November 11, 2017

Two Social Examples

Variety is the spice of Life, they say.

I couldn't agree more.

To the point, it's people - common, everyday people - who make it that way.

I'm providing a couple examples from just last evening of a few such people.

I was at Kohl's department store. An item return and a little shopping were the order of the evening. Little did I know there would be such a smörgåsbord of personalities there. The place was packed for a Friday evening. Apparently I didn't get the memo Kohl's was the go-to meeting place on Veteran's Day for the in crowd. (I'll have to make note of that for free and future entertainment dates.)

At any rate, outside the woman returning a bevy of items at one counter (who will forever now be referenced as "She With The Newborn Ugly Duckling Hairdo"), the nappy-headed little girl plopped unceremoniously at the base of a mannequin watching a Peppa Pig episode on her mother's smart phone and the patron with the most insane, mismatched clothing, shoes and jewelry ever to grace Folsom, California, there were two conversations in the place of note. One of which I was involved in, because I'm a people person who not only likes to stick my nose in where it probably shouldn't belong but to also inject a little interminably-long-checkout-line humor. Because I could.

Two women were in line behind me. They were discussing everything under the sun. The fact of the absurdity they were waiting in a half hour long line to purchase a simple $5.00 item ... how hot it was in the store ("... or maybe it's my hot flashes, I don't know") ... the permission of the one to the other if it was okay if she looked at that rack of clothing right over there while they were in line and not moving much any way ... the revelation of each one's various pass codes to many of their personal personables. (Seriously: At the conclusion of the wait when it was finally time to check out and a Kohl's employee called out she was ready for the next customer in line, I had gleaned all sorts of information from the two women. And it wasn't because I was clandestinely eavesdropping; their decibel level was well above average.)

Nearing the end of the line wait and having been audience to many of their dealings and comments and blather, suddenly one of the women said "Damn I'm hot. I think I've lost a couple pounds just waiting in line sweating. If they don't hurry it up up there, I may just go postal." Naturally, I took this as a cue to instill a little humor into the situation. I quite obviously and animatedly inched forward at a comical shuffle to indicate it would probably be best if I put some distance between me and the ladies. My efforts were not lost on them.

"I'm not really going to go postal!" one of them said as she good naturedly smacked me on the shoulder with something while chuckling. 

I responded with a slight turn of my head over my shoulder: "Nowadays? You just never know ..." Both women chuckled. "I mean ... hot women can be unpredictable," I further insinuated.

They immediately recognized the double entendre and this time cackled in earnest.

Then one stated "He's probably heard everything we've said while in line. He probably knows your Infinity account password you said out loud a minute ago!" she joked to her friend.

"I do have a pretty good bead on the both of you," I turned and confessed. "After all, we've been in line for 20 minutes or so. That's a good amount of time to learn a pretty good history about someone sometimes."

"You're funny. Maybe we should all go out for drinks afterward."

"I've had worse offers," I jested. 

"We'll take that as a compliment!" I was told.

And then a register opened up and our ways parted ...

Earlier in the store, I was in line to conduct a return and this "interesting" conversation occurred. I overheard a man and woman practically shouting back and forth to each other. I didn't catch the first part of what they said but, as the woman turned to face the man, their exchange became abundantly clearer to anyone within earshot. And they hadn't a care in the world who heard them:

She: "Who would have nipples on their knees?"

He: "Did you say 'nipples'?"

"No! I said who would have nipples on their knees."

"You just said it again!"



"Why would I say nipples?!?'

"I don't know!"

"And why would they be someone's knees?!? That's just dumb!"

The man ultimately decided it was better to remain quiet after that. Probably a wise choice.

People. You just never know what you're going to get.

.......... Ruprecht ( People. They never STOP being interesting ... )

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