Thursday, April 28, 2016

Becoming Unhinged

So ... when did spray paint companies get the bright idea to gang up on men in order to make them look foolish? Because I missed that little news item on the NBC Nightly News.

Ticking off the final agenda items on my bathroom project, one of the finishing touches has me painting the hinges of the cabinetry to match the hardware and compliment the tile flooring. Metallic spray paint was purchased, Satin Nickel to be precise.

I cleaned all the hinges and got them paint-ready. A test was in order to make certain the paint would jive. I spritzed a spritz of paint on a paper towel. It didn't come out Satin Nickel. It gleamed back at me on the towel as a wet, satin gold. What the what ... ???

I looked at the paint can. I read it. I scrutinized the labels. Yep, even the top of the can indicated the color inside. Everything pointed at the fact I had purchased the correct paint: Satin Nickel. So why was it coming out the can with a goldish hue?

"Maybe it will be different on an actual hinge" I was informed by my better half.

"That can't be! Spray paint's spray paint! If you spray it on one thing it's going to be the same color on something else. The can must be mislabeled ..." I adamantly professed.

My face was stubbornly screwed up with confidence as I semi-stormed out of the room. Still, I relented to experiment on an actual hinge.

And lo and behold it tinged the hinge in silvery Satin Nickel. I had a hard time wrapping my head around the difference between the two media. How could it be? But the proof was right in front of me.

In conclusion it can only be one thing: A conspiracy to make men look foolish.

Who would connive such an outrageous chicanery ... ??!??!? What monkey business is this??!?

A letter to the Powers That Be at Rust-Oleum is in order ...

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Prince Story

With the surprising and unexpected passing of one of rock and roll's most singular voices, my "Prince" story isn't really mine at all.

It is. But indirectly.

In actuality, it's my son's story. But he's my son so I have the right to write about it.

In early 1991,
Sinéad O’Connor released "Nothing Compares 2 U" (originally written by Prince). It made waves when it debuted, the accompanying video saw massive airplay on MTV (Music Television) and was a worldwide #1 hit in many countries. O'connor's video lent a striking take to the music, the majority of it involving nothing more than her bald and powerful portrait singing to the camera. It was polarizing. For me, that was part of its appeal.

And it was for my son as well.

When the video appeared, it didn't matter what he was doing at the time. He dropped his toys. He quit jumping around. He became still, silent as a tomb and was motionlessly transfixed to the television screen, wide-eyed while watching the song play out. I watched him often during these times; he barely seemed to breathe.

Despite the fact he wasn't even two years of age, I don't mind bragging I did a good job of introducing him to all sorts of music to fill his mind and fuel his imagination. Some favorites included BTO ("Takin' Care Of Business"), The Cramps ("Chicken") and a heaping helping of oldies, Bowie and lots and lots of standards.

But it was always "Nothing Compares 2 U" that isolated the child into single-minded focus, no matter how many times the video played on the screen.

To this day, I don't know if he even remembers that. I'm going to have to ask him ...

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )