Hokay, People: Listen up.
Monday here. Yes ... Monday. The first day of the week.
That particular day many of you have decided to ridicule. Scorn. Chide. Vilify. Thumb your nose at. And generally complain about to exactly zero effect.
Let me reiterate: "TO EXACTLY ZERO EFFECT."
Because - and you need to understand this completely - no matter where you are in the week there's a Monday you're going to have to contend with soon.
Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not in a couple days. But it's looking.
Because for the rest of your life you're going to have a Monday to live through every seventh calendar day. And about 52 of them on average in any given year.
So my question to you is this: How's that whining about Monday thing working for you? Because there's nothing you can do about it. And you sound like a big, fat whiner (or petulant child) when you gripe.
Want to hear a few of my benefits you don't take into consideration? Maybe by listing a couple it might curb your incessant, useless bellyaching. I'm the first day of the week as noted. If you didn't have me around, how could you begin your week? Answer: You couldn't.
But I'm also that extra day off during Memorial Day, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, President's Day and Labor Day weekends. Yeah ... you like me then, don't you? Rather hypocritical if you ask me.
Holidays that fall on a Tuesday? Many of you get me off as a bonus four day weekend. If you didn't have me around, lots of you would extend your weekend interminably, irresponsibly ... and that would just end up killing you. (You know the saying ... "too much of a good thing ...")
In Canada? Kind of difficult to have Easter Monday on any other day of the week, you follow?
You've heard of The Mamas And The Papas, right? That seminal American folk rock vocal group of the '60s? They liked me. Even wrote a song about me:
"Monday, Monday, so good to me ... Monday mornin', it was all I hoped it would be ... oh Monday mornin', Monday mornin' couldn't guarantee ... that Monday evenin' you would still be here with me ..."
Yep. Sublime stuff right there. And that's not the only song I'm in. "Fell In Love On Monday" by Fats Domino. "Thank God It's Monday" by NOFX. Jimmy Buffet's "Come Monday." The Cure couldn't have written "Friday I'm In Love" without yours truly. And tons more, immortalizing me, Monday, in music.
You know ... I could go on and on and on. And on. And freakin' ON about me.
But the bottom line is this: A wise friend of mine once told me if you whine about something and don't do anything about it, you're just a whiner. And the fact of the matter is there's not a single thing you can do about me. And that's too bad for you.
You're either smack dab in the middle of me, worrying about me coming up or grousing and causing other people to join in your misery. Because, you know, misery loves company.
Me? I'm not miserable in the least. In fact, to those who bemoan my existence? That actually pleases me and makes me involuntarily smirk. So if that whining thing works for you and you're happy with it? You just keep on doin' whatcher doin', Bonzo.
Because I'll be back again real soon. And again. And again.
And yet again after that.