Monday, November 19, 2018

Crack Habit

I was in the kitchen, cooking. I ground turkey sizzling in a pan of the stove and the fan above cranked full throttle. The television was on in the background, non-de script commercial break after commercial break bookmarking the evening newscast. I could only catch a few words here and there.

And then, clear as day, I heard it:

"... You! Check your ass out! Then grab it!"

What the what ... ???!?

I turned around and walked across the kitchen, closer to the living room to see what was on the television screen.

"What was that I just heard?" I asked.

"Oh ... nothing. It's just a commercial ..."

"No ... I heard '... You! Check your ass out, then grab it ...'."

Guffawing ensued. I stood (possibly comically) with a wooden spoon in one hand and the other on my hip, face scrunched up.

"That's not what you heard." More chuckling. "It was 'You should regularly check your acid levels out of habit' ..."

Well ... that wasn't funny at all ...

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

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