Sunday, March 2, 2014

BuzzFeed Me, Baby. Just BuzzFeed Me

Of course, I'm kidding.

Don't BuzzFeed. Don't ever BuzzFeed me. You'll be wasting your time. But ... if you're BuzzFeeding, you already know that so ... never mind.

Here's the deal: No, no and no.

No, I don't care which Lord Of The Rings character I am. No, I don't care which NASCAR driver I lean toward. No, I don't give a hoot which state bird I would best represent.

No, I don't know nor care which food I'm most like, which soft drink I would make the best spokesman for or what number I would look like if I looked like a number.

I could give a flying farce which Seinfeld personality is most like me nor which Big Bang Theory / Veronica Mars / Lost / Breaking Bad / Mad Men character would best go with a particular part of the country. (Those who know me know I have never seen an episode of Seinfeld so you really know the pointlessness of that ...)

I have no clue what color is antagonistic to me at a given altitude, what roller coaster is closest to my shoe size, which pizza topping I would be likely to find in my purse (if I carried one), which flavored water I'm partial to, if I would make a better blond / brunette / redhead / bald person or which of my five senses I would prefer to lose if I had to lose one.

I don't give a rat's ass which celebrity I would gravitate toward if I went gluten free, I can't fathom what name I would name the General Lee if I were in charge of such a naming and I won't suggest the next title or villain in the next Star Wars film.

You know what drink I would be if I were a drink? I don't care. You know what planet I would wish to wear around my waist in a race? Nope ... don't care. You know how short my skirt would be at an upcoming Christmas party? What? You don't? Guess what? Me neither.

I don't care which 80s song best represents me, what classic bombshell I would date back in the day, which archaic word I would bring back if I could make one popular again, which tile style my brain looks like, what year I would prefer to be reborn in, which cat breed my ass looks like, what state I would live in if I could live in any state I wanted nor which luchador I would like to go up against if the world depended on me to go up against one next week.

So ... here's my suggestion, BuzzFeed: 

Buzz on by me.

Thanks in advance for your time and consideration. 

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP ... just stop ... )

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