Thursday, April 10, 2014

Something I Don't Like

Dear People of Earth:

Hokay. Enough, already. Just stop. Stop it. 

Right now.

No more. Discontinue with the word "liking" and keep continuing that discontinuation.

Don't utter it again. Not unless you're writing a story or doing a film or television show (you know ... The Following? The Killing?) or a poem with the title "The Liking." That's one of the few acceptable uses I'm willing to get on board with.

When someone says "I'm liking this thing!" I visibly cringe. I'm certain I involuntarily screw up my face as well. And when I read something such as "I'm liking this new attitude of mine!" ... ??? I groan. Really.

"Liking" isn't a verb. It's not a form of the word which should be used to convey you are fond of something or someone or some situation. You "like" something, you don't "liking" it or him or her or that. I'm dead serious: You don't. I'm being completely honest with you on this point.

The word "liking" is a noun, not a verb. You are not "liking" ... you "like."

"I like that. I really like that color on you." 

If you say "I'm really liking that color on you," you sound as if you don't know how to speak English. It's akin to "axing" someone for a sip of their drink as opposed to properly "asking" someone:

"Can I axe you something?"
"Yes ... is it possible for you to axe me a seven foot tall wood carving of the Statue of Liberty so I may place it proudly and with flourish in my backyard? And ... will you tell me when might I expect that?" 

"Liking" is a state of being or a feeling. It's a taste for something - as in an agreeable proclivity - or a showing of pleasure. It's an inclination, a usage of stating you are inclined to favor or prefer something or someone. You have an affection or a fondness or you lean on the side of a particular partiality.

You don't "liking" something. You "like" it.

You don't "liking" the dog. You "like" the dog.

And ... you should liking like the fact you speak English as if you actually know how to speak it.

Got it? Get it? Good ... I'd like that ...

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP "inging" stuff, people ) 391


  1. "Fun" is also a noun, not an adjective. You can have fun, but not a "fun time." Unless you mean it's time to have fun, in which case that's what you should say. Since fun is not an adjective, it doesn't lend itself to progression either--no "funner" or "funnest." I like that you're letting me rant here.

  2. Ba-da-da-da-daaaah. I'm lovin' it.