Monday, September 29, 2014

Real Life Adventures In Construction - Wood Eye?!? Wood Eye?!?

"... and when I looked up and it shot right into my eye and buried itself right into my eye socket ..."

I hadn't been privy to the conversation taking place down below me until I happened on the guys who were having it. I caught wind of what they were saying as I came down from the roof.

The tale teller - Karl - continued: "Had I looked up a split second later, it wouldn't have stopped at the back of the socket bone. It would have gone right into my brain. I was lucky."

"Damn! So ... your eye was all right? You recovered?" one of the guys asked.

"Pretty much. I was on worker's comp for a few months. When it healed I could see out of the bottom half of the eye but the top half was grey and fuzzy. Couldn't see anything out of that part. I was told it was scar tissue that was making things fuzzy and I would need an operation. There was a good chance it would fix it but it might not. Long story short, it didn't work ..."

"So that's a fake eye?" the same guy asked.


One of the other guys standing there listening in on the conversation started to shift where he stood, nervous. We knew what was coming.

Karl reached up to pluck out his left eye.

Out it popped. It was only a partial eye piece, not a full, rounded marble of an eyeball. He held it out for everyone to see (that was awkward, let me tell you) and you knew everyone groaned inwardly. Karl looked up good naturedly to show everyone what was left of the damaged eye. Scar tissue blocked the socket from going all the way to the back of the socket.

After everyone stared gape-mouthed at him for a moment he said "Now ... I need a little help positioning the thing when I put it back in. I don't always get it right and I don't have a mirror on me. Sometimes I look like that guy Marty Feldman ... you know ... from Young Frankenstein? So I'll need someone to tell me if I got it in right. Anyone willing to do that?"

I flailed my hand straight up into the air and yelled: "Would I ... !!! Wood I ... !!!" No one got the joke.

Karl bent over and popped his eye back in, then looked up.

His right eye - the good one - looked right at us. The other one was pointed at a 45° angle straight at the ground. Several of the guys muffled chuckles. I directed him on which way to position the thing so it wasn't all cockamamie in its socket.

And then? We began packing up our gear as if nothing happened.

I was somewhat flustered as I rolled cords and straightened tidied stuff up; how was it possible no one knew that joke?


.......... Ruprecht ( doesn't even STOP at an inappropriate moment )

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