Monday, June 14, 2010

The Annual Trek To Jamba Juice

Jamba Juice
and I ... we have an understanding.

And it is this: I go and pick something up from that establishment ... and at some point something goes wrong.

This is the way it's gone for as long as I can remember.
You want proof? I present my
case ...

For the last three years on or about the boss's birthday, "The Tradition" has been to
trek over to a local Jamba Juice and pick up the drinks of choice for the entire office staff. Not a frequenter of the place, I've no idea what to get. Truth be told, the place is rather perplexing to me. Energy shots and protein powders and milk-fed wheat weeds and dollops of gordness knows what.

But ... I digress .....

Year One? The orders got all screwed up. Year Two? One hour wait ... and the drinks leaked all over the place on the way back to the office. Year Three .. this year?

Well, things were going rather swimmingly for a bit. The boss was pleased with his refreshment ... his assistant dug the new "5 Fruit Frenzy" she ordered ... and my Tourette's-infused computer operator was enjoying some pomegranate concoction containing "monkey juice" or somesuch.

As I was leaving the office for the day, I spilled my barely-sipped drink all over the building entrance, causing peach flavor to decorate the entry in a drab orange spray pattern that probably would have thrilled a crime scene splatter expert.

Of the few times I've been to a
Jamba Juice of my own accord (and when I say this I mean with friends or family) some other mishap has inevitably occurred.

You see: Jamba Juice and I ... we have an understanding:

I go there and the establishment exacts some sort of inexplicable revenge upon me .....

..................... Ruprecht ( STOP )


  1. What we don't do for others enjoyment! Maybe you should talk your boss into a meal of shrimpys instead. Shrimpys would never let you down or give you problems like that! :-D

  2. Smoothies are fun.


  3. I've had similar effects with Jamba Juice, and have therefore crossed it off my list. That, and the word "smoothie" just grates on me. "Slushie" is almost as bad. Word freak here.

  4. Rupe, I am sorry for your troubles, but I think smoothies are the bomb diggity! I get powerful smoothie cravings as summer wears on, and there is no Jamba Juice in my neighborhood to screw up my order, even!
    Maybe, if you went for smoothies more often, you & JJ could come to new, better understanding...?

  5. From The 20 Worst foods In America, courtesy of Men's health magazine:
    Worst Drink
    #19 Jamba Juice Chocolate Moo'd Power Smoothie (30 fl oz)
    900 calories 10 g fat
    183 g carbs (166 g sugar)
    Jamba Juice calls it a smoothie; we call it a milk shake. In fact, this beverage contains more sugar than two pints of Ben and Jerry's Butter Pecan ice cream.

    Turn Down the Power: Seventy-five percent of this chain's "power smoothies" contain in excess of 100 grams of sugar. Stick to Jamba's lower-calorie All Fruit Smoothies, which are the only menu items that contain no added sugar. And always opt for the 16-ounce "small."

    Just sayin'.