Wednesday, December 10, 2008

A New Kind Of Kick

Well … I’m confused.

Confused by the container above.

You see, I have always considered the word “shredded” the inflected form of the verb “shred”. Shredded - as in having come apart or having been broken up in some way, shape or manner … to tatter, to fragment. You know, like shredded cheese (cheese that has been processed into willowy little pieces in order to be more easily worked with when cooking or preparing something as opposed to a big ‘ole hunka cheese) or shredded beef (which has been pulled apart into small pieces to be applied to a specific recipe).

Apparently, I was wrong. “Shredded” is a type of taste it seems – fresh shredded taste. Something of which I hadn’t heretofore been aware. It appears I have been living in a cave – in the dark, dank bowels of a cave, to be exact - beneath moldy, moist rocks.

“Shredded”. It’s evidently a taste, not a processed action. To wit, a specific taste. The taste of “shred”.

And, in this particular case, it’s the taste of “fresh”.

Fresh. Shredded. Taste.

Pepsi, to me tastes like mold. Many of you know this about me. I am constantly asked if I eat mold on a regular basis when asked why I don’t like Pepsi. No … I do not eat mold as a habit. Nevertheless, Pepsi tastes like mold to me.

Shredded? I have no idea what it tastes like. I’ve never tasted “shred” or “shredded” before, but it seems that I have, unknowingly, as I’ve sprinkled the above cheese on my pasta in the past. And it’s got “fresh shredded taste”. So I must have an idea, an inkling, of what "shredded" tastes like … right?

There are millions of us out there who will be mortified to learn that when it comes to our commonality in understanding the word “shred” and its connotations, said commonality has been vastly altered.

And by the DiGiorno people, no less.

And I am dismayed.

So .... get me the number to the Oxford English Dictionary and a contact name of someone over there I can whine at. That person owes me an explanation.

With my luck, that person'll be tellin' me "shred" has something to do with snowboarding .....

........................... Ruprecht ( STOP )

I am a man of no convictions. At least, I think I am.

- Christopher Hampton, British dramatist


  1. I feel this way about many words in our language anymore. Let me know what you find out from Oxford! ;)

  2. Is it at least safe to say, then, that "shred" tastes better than mold? I guess that's a starting point :)

    I wish I knew someone at Oxford, I'd pay money to hear this conversation :)

  3. MOIST!! Rupe said moist in a blog post!! And, he is worried about how shredded tastes?

    Really Rupe!

    What inquiring minds want to know is this:
    Tell us more about your moist rocks!! I want to know!!

    Oh, and I love Pepsi, **and** I eat mold. Hello! Cheese. Is. Mold. Just sayin'!!

    Once again you have set me to laughing with your wit and witticisms! And, can you tell me is Moist is in the Oxford Dictionary??? This I would like to know.. and if the picture next to Moist is yours or mine....

  4. I have to stand up a bit for the Digiorno peeps and give them the benefit of the doubt.

    You, you sir, have blatantly added the periods in your post...

    Fresh. Shredded. Taste.

    ...making the usage here seem heinous. A dastardly maneuver if ever I have seen one.

    I'd reckon that cheese that was freshly shredded tastes better than cheese that was shredded a week and a half ago.

    I'd say that's where they are headed with this and I am more than willing to go there with them.

    that is all.

  5. Ladies & Gentlemen: PG and his rant response.

    Rupe'd be willing to bet he doesn't eat shredded cheese that's older than a week and a half old.

    Shredded cheese tasting goon .....

  6. wow. That is in fact a puzzle. I'm not sure how to reconcil the shred - of course, in my world shred has to do with mountains, compost or skating....

  7. Ok, so I finally added you to my reader. I kept meaning to do it and then my brain would fart and well...yeah. So I'll be stopping by a lot more frequently, whether you like it or not! Muah!

    Oh, and as for the shredded thing, I dunno if you've ever tried cheese off a block versus the same cheese shredded from a block but when it's shredded the taste is often fresher or stronger.

    I think they're using the adjective a bit incorrectly, but I know what they mean.

  8. Maybe freshLY shredded...I don't know, I've never tasted fresh shred (that I know of) so I don't feel I am qualified to offer an explanation.... :)