Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Good Riddance



Dear Bug:

It's nothing personal, but I can't honestly state it's been a pleasure being your host for the last few days. Matter'n fact, you've been a pain. Right to the very core.

Your limited stay has resulted in weariness, nap taking, sniffles, dry mouth, painful coughing, chills, overall achiness, loss of appetite, aversion to coffee, apathy, unproductiveness, grumpiness, suspect driving habits, excessive pill taking, watery eyes, incredibly sore abs from hacking coughs in the middle of the night, restlessness, general uncomfortability, hot and cold flashes, thick-headedness and fogginess beyond comprehension.

Oh ... I understand. It's what you do. But the time has come for you to high-tail it out of my body. I'm done. I'm done with everything you've created to make yourself comfortable while you've taken up residence.

Days ago, I should have pulled out "the secret weapon"; it's just been so long since last I was sick, I'd forgotten what a strong, potent ally the secret weapon was.

That's right:

Here come the garlic pills.

They rid the body of all foreign inhabitants, as you well know. I just wish I would have taken them a lot sooner than today.

Again, it's nothing personal, but this I can honestly state: I will be glad to see you take your leave, post haste.

Good riddance.

.................. Ruprecht ( STOP )