Showing posts with label comedian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comedian. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Smile, Darn Ya, Smile



I'm no comedian.

But I can dole out the comedy every now and again.

And let me tell you: It can be tough

Along with making people laugh, you run the risk of offending folks/friends/everyone. Or saying something you think is funny but turns out to be the most inappropriate time to lob a verbal barb.

That's the chance you take.

Additionally - depending on the type of chuckle you're shooting for - you run the risk of looking like an insensitive jerkwad. Throw out the occasional sarcastic or dry shot and it can be interpretted in an entirely different manner than projected. And not in a good way.

And, right there, that's the rub. 

But you don't stop. You don't go cold turkey just because something doesn't work. Where it doesn't come off in one particular situation, the exact same comment might work dreamily in another. They can't all be gems, you know.

That being said, here are a few examples I committed over the last few days. Please enjoy:


A friend posted the following: "Confession: I have a slight online shopping habit." My response was not so subtle: "'Slight' ... I doubled over laughing on the floor when I read that word." (She wasn't exactly amused.)




Of the above image, I commented:  "I WANT TO GO TO THAT POND AND CATCH HOTDOGS, TOO ... !!!"


With regard to a photo I posted a buddy's comment about me being "a wise old man" spurred him to into noting:  "Wise sort of old duffus?" to which I replied "(I'm) wise enough to know how to spell 'doofus'" (Which could understandably be construed as me being an all out asshat.)


Again, that's the chance you take.

Oh, sure ... being confidently quick-witted and spewing barbs left and right has gotten me in hot water time and again. But it doesn't stop me. It's a character trait. If you know me, you know I'm prone to do so. If you don't, you'll learn soon enough.

That is, if you're not too offended and hang around to see what sort of (sometimes) caustic wit I actually am....

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )




More than a list to the side, wouldn't you say?

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

My Cousin, The Comedian



My cousin thinks he's a joker, a real comedian. 

He claimed, long ago, he wrote out a few lists of things indicative of who I am - some quirks, kinks and characteristics. 

But, when asked to produce these alleged lists, they were "conveniently misplaced" or "lost somewhere."

Well sir? Supposedly they've "resurfaced," miraculously found while cleaning some room or another.

For your consideration (along with each item typed out for legibility) I present said lists. I leave it to you to figure out which items are statements of fact and which are falsehoods.


 

- Cholula with rice
- Will wash dishes but tends to break them
- Loves dogs, tolerates cats
- Likes Cholula w/ eggs
- Cholula w/ meat
- Cholula w/ chicken
- Cholula on toast
- Cholula in milk
- Favorite beer - Coors Light
- 2nd favorite beer - Corona w/ lime
- Gives up something for Lent - but cheats on weekends
- Still drinks milk
- Watches - American Idol, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Survivor
- Caffinated coffee w/ Coffeemate - French vanilla (1-pot)
- Sometimes the computer is his third appendage
- Would prefer to suffer through a cold than take asprin, Nyquil or antihistamine
- Flu shots? - HA!!


- Keeps files of everybody & everything
- A pretty good chef - except for corn muffins, always stick to the paper
- Makes a mean corn salad
- loves corn on the cob, corn bread, corn chowder, corn tortillas - you get it? He likes corn
- Once his hair is combed, don't touch it
- Loves the dollar menu at McDonald's and Arco
- A good barbequer as long as there's a Coors Light in his hand (barbeque beer)
- Would love to own a pair of Magnum P.I. shorts
- Loves beach parties
- Comic-Con maniac
- Lucha libre impersonator
- Don't get between him & The Walking Dead
- Award winning holiday decorator
- Most things can be fixed with duct tape
- Likes toasted English muffins
- Occasionally goes on a "beer diet"
- World's authority on obscure music
- Prefers any "live" music to recorded
- Knocked over the Michelin Man
- Speaks perfect Spanglish

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

Friday, March 20, 2015

That Steve ... He's Such A Kidder


Steve Martin called me this afternoon!

 
He did! Really! Truly! Listen for yourself ...



That Steve ... he's such a kidder. And the guy's good, too. It doesn't even sound like him.

I haven't had the chance to call back yet.  

*hhmmmmmmmm* I wonder: Why's he in San Francisco?

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )