Smile, Darn Ya, Smile

I'm no comedian.

But I can dole out the comedy every now and again.

And let me tell you: It can be tough. 

Along with making people laugh, you run the risk of offending folks/friends/everyone. Or saying something you think is funny but turns out to be the most inappropriate time to lob a verbal barb.

That's the chance you take.

Additionally - depending on the type of chuckle you're shooting for - you run the risk of looking like an insensitive jerkwad. Throw out the occasional sarcastic or dry shot and it can be interpretted in an entirely different manner than projected. And not in a good way.

And, right there, that's the rub. 

But you don't stop. You don't go cold turkey just because something doesn't work. Where it doesn't come off in one particular situation, the exact same comment might work dreamily in another. They can't all be gems, you know.

That being said, here are a few examples I committed over the last few days. Please enjoy:

A friend posted the following: "Confession: I have a slight online shopping habit." My response was not so subtle: "'Slight' ... I doubled over laughing on the floor when I read that word." (She wasn't exactly amused.)

Of the above image, I commented:  "I WANT TO GO TO THAT POND AND CATCH HOTDOGS, TOO ... !!!"

With regard to a photo I posted a buddy's comment about me being "a wise old man" spurred him to into noting:  "Wise sort of old duffus?" to which I replied "(I'm) wise enough to know how to spell 'doofus'" (Which could understandably be construed as me being an all out asshat.)

Again, that's the chance you take.

Oh, sure ... being confidently quick-witted and spewing barbs left and right has gotten me in hot water time and again. But it doesn't stop me. It's a character trait. If you know me, you know I'm prone to do so. If you don't, you'll learn soon enough.

That is, if you're not too offended and hang around to see what sort of (sometimes) caustic wit I actually am....

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

More than a list to the side, wouldn't you say?

Accountability

Really: What's so difficult about being accountable for simple mistakes?

If you're going to make a mistake, a business is one of the best places to do so. So you get your hand slapped, big deal. When you're dealing with the public, you want to put your best face forward. Makes the customer feel good, makes you feel good for helping out ... right?

Overall, no one wants to screw up, especially when it's personal. But at least if you do so in a business atmosphere, when you're at work? It tends to be not quite as painful. Especially when it's a simple little thing. Depending on how you handle it, that is.

And if you're going to come up with an excuse? If it should come to that at least have the wherewithal to make it appear legitimate, something that has an inkling of plausibility.

Case in point: A friend posted this a few days ago ...

"And so I think I just heard the most original excuse why important paperwork is 2 weeks past due for delivery. Mail with streets, avenues, boulevards, etc., not abbreviated are returned by the US Postal Service. I think I would have believe the company dog ate it."

I couldn't help but question this.

"... wait ... wait ... what ... ??? Are you saying that if you address something "Monkey Business Road" it is more likely to be delayed than "Monkey Business Rd." ... ?!??? I want to make certain I'm clear on this ..."

Come on. The individual who made up this malarkey really thought they could pull this off?

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

Parking Fun

I made a mistake recently.

(Hey ... I'm good at makin'em, you know? One of my pithy little comments has always been "Stick with your strengths." And making mistakes? One of my strengths.)

I was on my way to pick up my daughter from high school. The retrieval system the school has set up leaves much to be desired. Seeing it for the first time, I figured it was just a matter of time before there's a fender bender or five from folks seeking out a parking spot.

The area in front of the school is a no parking zone except for certain time frames of drop off and pick up during school hours. The pick up time is the more disconcerting of the two. Folks tend to park at a 45°  angle at the curb. Not a bad idea in and of itself - parking space is increased and it's easy to zip in and out of a space ... except ...

... it's not quite that easy.

The angle people park at is such they back in to spaces from the main thoroughfare; they don't pull directly up to the curb and parallel park. Instead, everyone stops in the middle of the street and backs into a space, creating 45° parking that is easily exited from once their kids are retrieved.

But this creates major stoppages in the middle of the street forcing drivers to be hyper-aware of what the car in front of them is doing ... not to mention making certain you have an eye in the rear view mirror to see what someone behind you might be up to.

In the very few times I've been to the school to do a pick up, I've seen more near misses than I care to mention. They're rampant. A fender bender is just around the corner, waiting to happen at any moment.

It was just yesterday I was hunting out a space in which to park and I needed to jam on my brakes suddenly. Some already nestled up to the curb yahoo wasn't happy with their particular parking job and decided to pull out in front of me without looking to see if there was any oncoming traffic, said oncoming traffic being me. I quickly braked to a stop, waited for the person to do their thing and motored on. As I slowly passed him to toss a dirty look his way, I immediately encountered a car in front of me. Again, I braked. But it was too late to have realized the car in front of me was attempting to grab a spot I was now blocking. I saw the hands of the driver fling up in exasperation. I was immediately and silently apologetic. The driver wasn't going to see me mouth an "I'm sorry" as s/he was too busy trying to find another spot in which to park. Fortunately I noted s/he found one a few spots up. Realizing this (and in the light of having blocked the car's originally proposed spot), I grabbed the one vacated one for my ownself.

Parked, I got out of my car to make nice with the person I'd flummoxed and to apologize face to face for being rude ... albeit inadvertently. I walked up to the person's car and noted it was a woman. I came around to her driver's side and tapped the window, startling her somewhat. She was on her cell phone texting or viewing something. She rolled the window down.

"I just wanted to apologize for nabbing your parking space back there. Maneuvering this place is trial of nerves ..."

She looked at me wide-eyed. "You came all the way over here to apologize for that?" she asked incredulously, but with a little smile on her face. "Who does that?"

"I do that. There are still a few good people in the world wading through all the boneheads," I told her. "Anyway ... I just wanted to say I was sorry. I didn't mean to appear the jerkwad."

"Thank you!" she stammered and I walked away.

After having practically killed a kid a bit earlier in the day, it was good to right a minor wrong and put a little balance back in the world, miniscule though it might be.

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )