Real Life Adventures In Construction - The Kitchen (... a continuing series ...)

Ladies & Gentlemen? For your dining and dancing pleasure, I present:  

My Current Kitchen ...

Click photo to enlarge

1) Trash can (I'm about the only one who uses this. Heathens.)
2) Skillet, circa 1970 (Still works!)
3) Brand new bottle of Cholula
4) Plastic cups (We wash them ... sometimes)
5) Cooler
6) Another cooler
7) Yet another cooler (Hey ... you have to keep your beer cold, you know!)
8) Discarded Coors case (We'll get around to throwing it away at some point ...)
9) Package of dried mango (For snacking)
10) Package of dried apricots (Again, for snacking)
11) Wooden utensils (housed in an old "Peppered & Salted Cashews" container)
12) Canola oil
13) 1/3 bottle of Glenlivet Scotch Whiskey
14) Paper towels
15) Various size baggies, aluminum foil
16) Forks, knives, spoons, whatnot
17) Cereal bowls
18) Peanut butter
19) Thermal coffee cup (hasn't been used yet)
20) Salt, pepper, garlic salt, Montreal seasoning
21) Plastic bags
22) Stale box of crackers
23) "Kitchen" table
24) "Picturesque" kitchen back splash
25) Man-sized Cutco butcher knife (Handy for loosening screws, too)

Value Added Bonus! The Laundry Area!

Click photo to enlarge

1) Star Wars Rebel Alliance T-shirt!
2) Plaster dog holding a basket of dead weeds ... draped with black shorty shorts
3) Underwear (boxer/briefs)
4) Pile of debris (includes trash, drywall, studs, dried joint compound, old fixtures, cardboard used to protect floors, beer bottles, other)
5) Two sets of patio furniture: One on top, one underneath
6) Roll-away bed (with cover)
7) All-purpose tin bucket
8) Discarded joint compound box (new home for whatever we decide to fill it with)
9) Overgrown, ill-tended courtyard bushes
10) Closet hanger pole (gaining vibrant use as an "air dryer")
11) 350 lb. combination oven (back side shown)
12) Wall between neighbor's courtyard and ours (Does little to retain the noise of breaking tile being chucked onto the pile at the crack of 6:15 in the morning, much to the neighbor's chagrin)
13) Ironically, this is a dryer (We're too lazy to hook it up. We don't want to get *too* civilized, you know ...)
14) Discarded, demo'd drywall we will pick out of the trash to use for something tomorrow
15) Patio sofa cushion (Now with drywall dust!)



You're welcome.

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

Real Life Adventures In Construction - Hello, Ladies (... a continuing series ...)

Look: It's a condo. That's being renovated.

Currently, only men live here.

It's dusty and disheveled here. There isn't a single blind or curtains on any window in the place. (Hello! It's being renovated! Aren't you paying attention ... !??) The kitchen consists of a refrigerator (contents: beer, milk, beer, salad, beer, gallon water jugs, beer, a watermelon and some other fruit, beer, BBQ sauce, beer, beer and, oh yeah, beer) and a pop-up table with various utensils, paper plates, the occasional clean plastic cup, a role of paper towels, salt and pepper, Cholula and a few other items. The BBQ is our friend. 

The bathroom is in shambles, but at least everything "works." (There are towels on the floor from the other guys and the vanity could use a wipe down ... but the toilet flushes, there's a shower, running water.) 

The rest of the place is barren for the most part. Tools litter the floor, scaffolding is erected in the living room and bedrooms, walls are currently being "mudded," rags are everywhere and make-shift poles are positioned on pieces of wood for drying our laundry ... when we get around to it.

As mentioned, others live with me here. The owner. His brother. They're kind of messy (I'm the clean one of the bunch so to speak) but everything's amicable.) We have a kid who comes in and assists during the week. We take Sundays off to recuperate from the long week.

This particular Sunday with everyone gone but me, I slept in. (Translation: Up at a quarter past 6 instead of the usual 5:15 a.m.) I got out of bed, put on a pair of flip-flops, headed to the restroom and, shortly thereafter, set the coffee maker on "brew." (Yes! We finally got a coffee maker! Woot!) It's a toss up on any given morning whether I get dressed (or not) the first hour or so.

Luckily this morning I was at least sporting underwear. As I meandered into the kitchen to get a coffee cup, I looked up at the back sliding glass doors with the view of the golf course. There looking back at me was a group of 4 women fresh off the 3rd hole, peeking in at the window. 

A couple of them waved. I smiled and waved back. 

I approached them, opened the sliding glass door and offered hearty good morning. They commented they loved what we were doing with the place. (This was a clear attempt to distract themselves from the fact I had approached in nothing but skivvies. I mean ... the place is a mess. There's no possible way they could "love" what we were doing ... not yet, anyway. Not in the condition it was in.) 

We chatted for a few seconds more and then they left to resume their game. I wished them all good rounds. I turned tail to get my coffee.

Now ... we might get a call from the homeowner's association. We might not. 

I'm betting not. After all: They were on the property looking in at me sans clothes; I was not sans clothes on the golf course ...

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )