Bonus!

Working until late at night, I'll get up in the morning (without the benefit of much sleep) and head out to whatever project I have without stopping to grab breakfast. Usually this isn't much of a problem. Vut there are days I'm famished and need something to power me through to my next decent meal.

Those times call for a big old Monster Bisquit from Carl's Jr. With its bacon, sausage, egg and cheese all on a bisquit, it often does the trick.

This particular morning, however, I wasn't anywhere near a Carl's. McCrappage was all that was en route. I decided I could live with an Egg McMuffin, sadly lacking though they may be. But ... put a little mayo and mustard one one and it's actually edible.

I pulled into the drive thru (I was the only one frequenting the place at that time) and, to my surprise, I discovered a couple sausage with egg sandwiches were only $3.00. I ordered two. 

"Anything else with that, sir?" I was asked.

"No, thank you. That'll do" I replied.

I paid at one window and drove up to the next to retrieve my order.

A girl handed me a bag. She looked to be about 14 years old if she was a day. 

"Excuse me ... I forgot to ask: Could I get some mayonnaise and mustard too, please?"

"For your order?" she asked me.

Now, sarcastic old me had a couple zippy barbs at the ready, the first of which was "No ... I like to simply open the packets and down them individually, mayo first." But, by the look of this girl, it appeared if I hit her up with something unexpected like that she might break into tears. 

I mean ... what else would the condiments be for? I hadn't ordered anything else. But I decided to be nice and stay on the level. "Yes, they're for my sandwiches, thank you," I confessed.

She disappeared and reappeared just as quickly with my requests. Immediately following, she handed me a large drink and straw.

"Don't forget your Dr. Pepper!" she told me.

This time I couldn't resist. 

"Thank you! Is there a promotion going on I don't know about?"

She looked at me quizically. "Excuse me, sir?"

"Well, you know ... order two Sausage McMuffins, get a free large Dr. Pepper. Is that the deal?"

"Uhm ... no. You didn't order a Dr. Pepper?"

"Nope" I responded. "Maybe the guy behind me ..." I looked in my rear view mirror. "Oh ... look at that. I'm the only one in line here." I handed the drink back to her.

She looked confused. 

"Thank you for my order! Have a good day!" I said as I pulled away.

Where do they get these youngsters?

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

It's! Still! Sideways!

I (might) Play A Small Part

... and then, a bit later in the morning, this happened several hours after Rupe submitted his posting.

Which only goes to show Rupe may be "part of the problem" ...

And then maybe not ...

Ronald, being nothing more than a mascot at the corporation can field calls ...
... but there's nothing he can really do about the website ...

.......... Ruprecht ( Did Rupe help McSTOP the site? )

I Can't Think For Myself Any Longer ... And Neither Can You

2013.  Two thousand thirteen.

Pivotal year.

It's the year we became dumb.  Really dumb.

And dumb with regard to some of the most personal aspects of what we do. 
 
You see ... in 2013 we suddenly became dumb about our lifestyles.

Ronald wonders: "Why are you so dumb?"

How do I know this?  Because a fast food corporation is telling us how to live instead of our own selves telling us how to live, that corporation being McDonald's.  Here are some examples:

• McDonald's is advising us against eating hamburgers, fries and sodas because they "are typically high in calories, fat, saturated fat, sugar and salt and may put people at risk for becoming overweight."
• McDonald's further states "in general, people with high blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease must be very careful about choosing fast food because of its high fat, salt and sugar levels."

Yeah.  I know.  Do you get the picture in reading those points it's obvious we became incapable of any rational thought?  Because that's being screamed at me loudly and clearly.

Ronald asks: "What's the point of rushing into 2014?"

I figure I might as well toss out any hopes and dreams about 2014 right now, having them join a place right next to the discard McBurger wrapper and the drained McCoke container in the waste bin.  You, reading this, might want to do same.

I mean ... what's the point of continuing on if we're incapable of exercising rational McThought?  You're already in the throes of a food coma anyway with the holidays still going strong ... right?

Ronald says: "You're in a food coma already, anyway ..."

Oh. And ... Happy New Year ...

.......... Ruprecht ( we must figure out how to McSTOP our incapabilities )

Fooling Myself

It'd been a while since I had eaten.

I didn't do dinner the night before and it was only coffee that morning, so I was hungry. I had several errands to run and thought I would just grab something on the fly.

The problem however was that between work and my destinations the quick in-and-out food purchasing options were practically nil. With the exception of my old nemesis: McCrappage.

*sigh*

Begrudgingly, I pulled into the drive-thru line and decided on a chipotle Angus burger. How bad could it really be? I'd had the mushroom and swiss Angus concoction previously and it was passable. I noted on one of the decorative lawn signs beside the order kiosk a picture with the burger I wanted spilling out red onion, so I made certain to place my order sans condiment. I don't like red onion. Matter'n fact, I verified it with the guy who took my request.

This may have been a mistake.

You see: While the burger was tasteless ... while the bacon on the burger had an inclination toward cardboardy-ness ... while I was thankful the overly pungent chipotle sauce slathered on the sandwich at least gave it some sort of flavor, I believe the red onion I asked to be held may have actually made the meal appreciative. Because, let me tell you something: This particular lunch? One I'll tuck in the back of my mind as a "order if desperate only" selection.

I keep fooling myself food at McCrappage will be good. It has to be every once in a while ... right? Especially if you're famished ... right? Anything's good when you're famished ... right? Right?

Right ... ?!?

Bueller??? Bueller ... ???

................................... Ruprecht ( STOP )

A Rather Boring Experiment

I call McDonald's 'McCrappage' for a reason. I mean: Is there any reason I need to explain myself, people?

No ... I didn't think so.

Still, I'll admit to getting the occasional hankering for a Big Mac. Thankfully, those times are few and far between.

But, a week ago, I did something I wouldn't normally do (I hope you're sitting down): I ventured into a McDonald's and ordered a McRib sandwich.

Truth be told, it was an experiment more than anything else.

The way I figured it, I'd been working my ass off all day and, being McCrappage was the closest thing around, the remainder of the day's physical work would surely burn off any ill effects some McMysteryMeat on a bun might conjure up.

Yes, I've heard the wild tales involving people venturing hundreds of miles to satisfy their McRib cravings when they discover a McDonald's hours away is running the rare promotion. I've read of a few of these folks 'stocking up' on their needed BBQ sauce drowned fix, purchasing dozens at a time. (What in the world do they do with them? Eat them all at one sitting? Munch them continually over the course of days? Freeze'em for later consumption?) I've witnessed the frenzied looks of some overcome by the mere mention of a McRib. Sure, some of these stories are probably true, some fact-based ... and some so fantastical as to be fabricated, a result of hearing a 15-second radio spot for their beloved meal.

So, I decided to check out this sandwich for myself.

Sitting down with my purchase in a crowded Saturday McDonald's, I opened the container and discovered my order was misconstructed to begin with; I requested extra pickles and no onion. I got just the opposite - tons of onion, nary a pickle. (The beginning of my experience wasn't looking on the bright side from the get-go.)


Correcting the mistake in a (surprisingly) short amount of time, I sat down again, looked at the sandwich once more and took it all in: Oozing barbeque sauce dribbled down the sides of the sandwich. I wondered why so much sauce was necessary. Could this have been the work of an over-zealous employee? Or was this how it was supposed to look?

I took a deep breath and dove in. Savoring the flavor (I use the term loosely), I tried to come up with an appropriate adjective or two for the experience .... and couldn't.


You see, the taste I was met with was rather ... underwhelming. There was a hint of porky flavor to the sandwich, but it was overpowered by the abundance of sauce it was slathered in. 'Meh' was the best thing I could come up with. No taste explosion, not even that good, really ... but not in the least bit bad or repulsive, as some people have proffered.

I continued eating. I was hungry, after all. I needed fuel for the remainder of the day. I kept chewing, taking yet another bite, looking for something - anything - that hinted at what others found so enticing about a McRib. For the life of me, I just couldn't come up with a single idea as to its popularity.

Will I order one again? No. There's just nothing at all exciting about it, nothing that left me with an impression. Surely, nothing that would make me order another one down the line.

So, I'm confused: What's all the hoopla about? Why do so many people get whipped into a frothy herd mentality frenzy over this completely unremarkable fast food McBlandwich?

I. Don't. Know.

............... Ruprecht ( STOP )