Cheese Substance

How many times have I told you: "Use Velveeta, go to jail?"

(At least once. Here.)

And, really ... if you need a reason to avoid Velveeta (you don't - commons sense should dictate that), verbiage use such as this will do the trick: 

"No illnesses have been reported in connection to the underpreserved cheese substance." 

Reason enough. 

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP abusing cheese, don't use Velveeta )

It’s The "Cheesiness" That Beckons …..

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The fact that you're here, that you're reading this blog, says something about you.

You could have gone off on your own and went somewhere else. No one twisted your arm to come here.

You could have said “Enough is enough! I can't sit in front of the computer another minute!”, gotten up and walked off in a huff.

You could have decided a restroom break was in order …. a drink needed to be procured …. the dog needed walking. You could have decided any number of things.

But, instead, it was two simple things that kept you here:

• 1) It was the ease in which the link to this blog was effortlessly clicked; and
• 2) It was the succulent looking Velveeta image above that called your name silently and beckoned you to stay.

Admit it. You know exactly what you want. Nothing more or less. It was the cheese you wanted – right? It’s all right. No need for embarrassment. No need to shun your inner need for the cheese.

It’s the warm gooeyness that attracts you. The tang of sharp cheddar that holds sway over you. The creaminess of it all when cheesy warmness dribbles over some foodstuff made all the better with a creamery goat cheese concoction. It’s the cheese from Philadelphia you slather on that toasted bagel in the morning that you long for. It’s the stringy stuff on your baked potato you adore so much. It’s the pepper-infused “moots” you wedge up and add to your antipasto. And you know it.

Now … some say (as I often do): “Use Velveeta … go to jail.” That should be a constitution everyone should hold dear to their hearts. So … why do I use the image above? I use the Velveeta name and image not for the taste factor … but for the cheese factor.

Yes. The cheese factor. Or, rather, the cheesy factor.

‘Cause there ain’t nuthin’ “cheesier” than Velveeta, let me tell you. And I ain’t talkin’ taste, folks.

Not. One. Bit.

So getcher nachos out, guys. (No … that wasn’t a euphemism.) Unwrap them Triskets and Melba toastsis and Cheeze-Its.

‘Cause the “cheese” is comin’. And it don’t smell like teen spirit.

It smells like Limburger, baby ….. and it's oh, so good.

................................ Ruprecht ( STOP the cheesiness )