Makin' Friends

I was stopped at a traffic signal.

And I wasn't.

See, I was positioned just before making my way into the left turn lanes of a particular signal, still in the single lane prior to being able to make my way in either of two turn lanes. But with heavy traffic backed up so I couldn't quite make it into the lanes, there was nothing I could do but hold tight and wait to move forward. Even then I figured I wouldn't make the next green signal - there was that much congestion.
 
Finally, the light turned green. Still, nothing I could do until the vehicles ahead of me got their acts together and crept forward. And then, all of a sudden, I was able to move.

Prior to accelerating, I engaged my left hand turn signal and slowly proceeded forward. Suddenly, the vehicle behind me honked furiously at me. Seems I wasn't moving fast enough for the driver, but there was nothing much I could do about.

Physics, you know. "Two objects can't occupy the same space at the same time." Basic schooling.

But it wasn't quite that. It appeared, in retrospect, I not only wasn't moving fast enough for the car at my rear, but I had unintentionally pissed her/him off even more as the one turn lane s/he wanted to turn in I was turning in ... slowly. Too slowly, as was the fact of the matter.

The car - with a woman driver I noticed - honked once more as she zipped past my right side, all the while glaring at me. No matter.

As it turned out, I did make that green light ... and, coincidentally, pulled up behind her at the next light. I saw her continuing to glare at me in her rear view mirror.

As it turned out, she was headed in the exact same direction as I was. I tailed her for about another mile before turning in the same driveway as her. I saw her park and shoot lasers at me as I passed. I contemplated waving, but decided I'd "made her day" enough already.

Caught in the traffic of trying to get a parking space, I witnessed her at my rear right side through my mirror; she had not only parked, but made her way toward me by foot in order to snap a picture of my car such that she was able to get my license plate.

Good for her. What she intended on doing with it I had no clue. Kind of a "he said, she said" thing.

But if it pissed her off such that she was not only in a more of a hurry than she already appeared to be (Had I made her late for an appointment?) yet still had enough time stop and snap my picture? Then my job (unintentional though it might have been) was done. It wasn't like I was consciously trying to get in her way or impede her in any manner. Traffic and all that, y'unnerstan' ...

Then again ... some people are just naturally born bonehead drivers and it's all about them when they drive.

In the meantime: This guy? He's making friends (and enemies) wherever he goes. 

.......... Ruprecht ( just can't  STOP makin' friends)

You know? I wonder if that woman could have possibly been Donna Chambers. ... naaaaaah ...

There Are No Such Things As Bad Words

Good Gordness .....

I surely hope this does not become as rampant a panic as the (overly hyped) Swine Flu epidemic.

Seriously, people: Don't you have better things to do than be ignorant?

*sigh*

................... Ruprecht ( STOP )
Thanks for pissing me off today, David .....

Thank You. Thank You Very Much .....

Dear Dumbasses:

I appreciate you. I really do.

You know how sometimes you get that feeling deep down inside, the one where you say to yourself “Hey … it’s all about me and no one else!” and nothing is going to stop you from stating otherwise? It’s something we all do in some form or another. Often, it’s something we all strive not to do, but we find ourselves falling into that trap time and again, whether out loud for others to hear … or silently within our own consciousness.

Well … thanks to your generous efforts, you made certain I circumvented those selfish thoughts. You made it clear it’s not about me, not at all. It’s about you and your zealous nature, your zeal in expressing the love for your team in their moment of glory.

‘Cause, after Sunday’s Los Angeles Laker victory over the Orlando Magic, I discovered it’s not about the Laker’s decisive win in the least. It’s not about the pride of a city for their team. And it’s not even about shouting out to the rest of the nation Los Angeles is the best in pro basketball at this moment.

It’s about you. You and your asshattery.

You see: I don’t have enough to do. I need to do more. And you helped to remind me of that, too.

You helped to remind me that I need to explain to complete strangers why Los Angeles is a terrific place to live, despite dumbass hooligans such as yourself. You helped to remind me I need something other than L.A.’s flagging economy to back up to when friends of mine all over the country ask “How’s ‘Ah-Nuld’?” You further helped to remind me it’s necessary to convince total strangers to my business of something other than the need to charge 9.75% sales tax for the wares I supply to them. And, thankfully, you’ve provided an out for me to do so.


So … here’s to each and every one of you brainiacs out there who celebrated by looting and stealing and starting fires and causing damage after the Lakers spiffy win Sunday. I just want to say thanks.

It only took you a moment or two to turn my selfish thoughts to something else. And I appreciate that more than you know.

Yours Sincerely (and unselfishly) .....

………….… Ruprecht ( STOP )

Owner Of Looted Sneakers Store
Surveys Post-Lakers-Victory Damage

"Classy. You know, Boston may have a Puritan reputation, but at least we don't tear our city apart when our sports teams win." - Justin Hall

18 People Arrested In Lakers Melees

"What a stupid spectacle. Look at Tehran right now and then look at Los Angeles. They fight for their freedom. We fight for sneakers." - Commenter


"This is truly sad that a very small minority of so-called Laker fans can turn what should have been a celebration into an excuse for a riot. They are not in any way, shape or form to be considered sports fans, they are nothing more than punks and thugs and they make me ashamed to be a Los Angeles native." - Commenter


"What scumbags ... I hope that anyone who sees the face of someone they know in the many L.A. Times photographs taken last night calls the police and turns those people in. Everyone who took part in the theft or vandalism, or knows someone who took part and doesn't do anything about it, should be ashamed and know that they represent the WORST of society." - Commenter


"Another splendid display of downtown L.A. civility. A bunch of stupid hoodlums." - Commenter

Nailing Those Red-Light Runners - On Bicycles .....

From the 'Opinion' section, 'Letters To The Editor'
The Fresno Bee, Tuesday, May 1, 2007:

This week's sign of the apocalypse -- I was riding my Giant Road bicycle down Willow out by Clovis North and Clovis Hills Community Church. The light right in front of the church was red and there were no cars coming, so I went through the red light on my bicycle.

A California Highway Patrol officer on a motorcycle was sitting at the light and immediately turned on his lights and sirens and pulled me over. I couldn't believe it, he asked for some ID (license) which I didn't have and then lectured me on how I am just like a car and I could be injured and should carry ID etc. ... blah, blah, blah.

He wrote me up and I wish you could see what he put on the ticket.

Violation: ran red light

Vehicle make and model: Giant Bicycle, Black, 2004

Approximate speed: 10 mph

I have to appear in court and take traffic school (do they even have a bike section?) to get it cleared off my record.

I want to be angry, but this was just too funny, so I had to share it with everyone.

This was my first ticket ever.

Joseph Gentry, Fresno

___________________________

I just had to write in response .....

I am completely amazed at the tone Mr. Gentry took in his note about getting a ticket for disobeying a traffic light and his surprise at getting the ticket for doing so.

What does he 'want to be angry' about? He broke the law and got what he deserved. His prize is a contribution to Fresno city's financial bankroll, a trip to a traffic school of his choice (which he will also have to pay for) and hours of lost time on his part he will never get back. And he thinks this 'was just too funny so I had to share it with everyone.' Yup. It's a laugh riot.

We try to get people - kids especially - to follow the rules of the road and adults flagrantly toss them aside. Ever hear of the term 'Lead By Example'?

Mr. Gentry of Fresno: Let's hope your 'first ticket ever' is your last.

Oh .... and grow up.

___________________________

Ruprecht ( STOP )