I Think I'm Turning Japanese, I Really Think So

So this conversation took place:

"Hello! Just wanted to check - will you be locking up this evening?"

"Uhmmmmmm ... no. You guys usually do that ..."

"We do. But you're here on extended hours and there are other sites I need to be at. I'm just checking so I can plan the rest of my night."

"Oh, well ... I should be out of here by 9:00. But you might want to check with 'Belinda' (not her real name) in the next room. She's the only other one here besides me."

I go to check with 'Belinda' ...

"Hi! I'm not trying to rush you ... just wonder how long you're planning on staying ..."

"Oh, probably another 20 or 30 minutes. Why? Are you turning out the lights?"

"I have in the other buildings but I won't do so here until you leave."

"Will I still be able to get out with the alarm on?"

"Oh, no, no ... I'm not doing anything until you take off ..."

"So, the lights will still be on?"

"Yes."

"And I'll still be able to get out even with the alarm on? I won't set it off?"

"No ... as I said, I won't turn off any lights nor set the alarm until everyone is out of the building?"

"So ... I can leave without any problem?"

It was at this point I wondered if I was speaking in a foreign tongue and didn't realize it ...

"Yes. Without any problems. Lights: Still on. Alarm: Not set until you are out of the building ..."
 
I watched 'Belinda' screw up her face while thinking. I half thought she was going to ask another bewildering question but ... "Well, okay then. Thank you."

It's days like this when it feels like you're pulling teeth ...

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

Drive By

I was out walking my dog Bear early Wednesday morning, the day before Thanksgiving.

I heard a car behind me. An ugly powder blue Toyota Prius approached and I saw the driver's side window come down. An old Chinese woman pulled up to me and stopped. 

She practically yelled at me.

"You looking for PAPER ... ??!?" she shout/asked.

"Nooooooo ..." I said more quizically than in response.

She began driving away. But she stopped again a few seconds later and poked her head out the window, looking back at me. 

"Nice DOG!" she yelled and drove off once more. 

She pulled into a large driveway not far from where I was headed, made a turn into the driveway, performed a rather exaggerated clockwise turn and headed out again back toward me. I didn't make eye contact as she passed me that second time. 

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP. )

"Upside down ... girl you turn me ..."

Thinking ...

"So ... what do you guys think? How many people in the world hate gum?"

- Rupe's Youngest Daughter

.......................... Ruprecht ( STOP )