Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Numbskull


This isn't Bill. This isn't Bob.
It's Steve ...



You remember Steve, don't you?

Well sir, Steve's been through the ringer. He's seen better days.

He's weathered physical abuse (note the lack of the top of his head, various scuffs and abrasions, a reattached jaw that split in two right down the middle), quite a few relocations over the many, many years, unfortunate name changes (more on those in a bit) and other ailments.

But he's still here. Still ready, willing and able to make his annual Halloween appearance. And who can blame him? That's his thing.


I pulled Steve out of his packaging a year or so ago and he was in pieces ... literally. His skull was irreparable. There were so many skull fragments fixing him was out of the question. Recently, his right eye orbit gave way. He's forever had a couple missing front teeth so that's never been a problem. (He doesn't exactly eat, you know.) But the dude just keeps on keepin' on. Kudos for his persistence.

And that name thing? My fault.


You see, I've forgotten his name on a few occasions and mistakenly called him by others. Beside Steve, he's erroneously been called both "Bill" and "Bob," neither name having that "joie de vivre" which typifies his personality. Additionally, they don't roll off the tongue quite the way "Steve" does.
  
Really. Truly. Try it out. Say "Bill" out loud, wait a moment, then call out "Bob." See? Just don't sound right, do they?

Now ... say "Steve" then you tell me which name sounds better spoken aloud. I mean, all three names are monosyllabic but you're able to add that extra emphasis with "Steve" you just can't with the other two.
 

"Steeeeeeeeeve." "Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve." See what I mean?

I blame myself completely and totally for the flub, of course. And I'll chalk it up to nothing more a brain malfunction, some synapses or three not firing on all thrusters.

Something I should have done long, long ago was make certain I remembered by writing his name down. It doesn't get any simpler than that. But that's akin to the need to write down the names of your children. Or your dog. You know what your children's names are! You damned well know what your dog's name is! You don't need reminders for those things! But ... for a charismatic, suave man-about-town like Steve who only makes an appearance once a year, I'm sad to say things can get forgotten. Like, you know ... names.

So I've rectified that little worry as you can see. And unless the back of his face falls off, I won't forget his name again.



Happy Halloween, Steve. Do your thing.

 .......... Ruprecht ( has rectified a way to STOP forgetting Steve's name is Steve )