T-Shirt Collection: Schoolhouse Rock

And here you thought my incessant T-shirt images were limited to 2015!

Foolish, foolish mortals ...

... bwah-haa-haa ...

BWAAAAAAH-HAAAAAAAAAA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAA ... !!!

.......... Ruprecht ( probably won't ever STOP posting T-shirt photos )

 

Quite Possibly The Dumbest Argument Ever

Despite the fact the following has been edited for reading brevity (trust me - the "You choose!/No, you choose!" back and forth would have been a most monotonous read), the following narrative is A Factual And True Accounting ...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Hokay ... our movie choices? I have everything pulled up on the computer. Time to decide. Ready? We've got Deadpool, Zoolander 2, Kung Fu Panda 3, How To Be Single, Pride and Prejudice And Zombies, The Choice, The Revenant, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, The Finest Hours, Dirty Grandpa, The 5th Wave, 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi and Hail, Caesar! If it's all the same to you, I'm sure we can put the Zoolander and Kung Fu films in the 'Ain't No Way In Hell' category ... right?"

"Yes."

"I take it The Choice and How To Be Single are chick flicks. If you want to go see either of them I'll defer to you ..."

"No. It's up to you what to go see."

"Why don't I just go through the list and see what both of us wouldn't mind seeing? Then whatever is left we wouldn't have a problem with, no matter what we choose. That work?"

"Just pick one. I'll be good with whatever."

"No you won't. Because I know you don't like Coen Brothers films. You think they're stupid. So Hail, Caesar! is out ..."

"Just pick one."

"I've already deleted three of them right off the bat. Choose one from the remainder ..."

"Your choice."

"No! I'm not going to choose. Because it could quite possibly come back on me that I picked the movie and, if it's a bad one, I'll never hear the end of it. You have priors, you know ..."

"I have priors? That's pretty funny coming from you ..."

"Hey ... I'm just truth speakin' here. And didn't you say something about The Revenant? I'd see that ..."

"I don't. There are some pretty gruesome things in it I've heard ..."

"Regardless, it's supposed to be good ..."

"Then you choose."

"Oh! My! Gosh! Let me just go through the list like I said and we'll choose from that list."

"No. You choose."

"All right, look ... I'll nix The Revenant since you obviously have a strong constitution against it. And we've already see Star Wars, so that one's out, too. And I'm dumping the chick flicks, if that's what they are. That weeds us down to six. Deadpool? If a DVD of it was placed at my doorstep for my perusal with no obligation, I'd watch it. But I don't have any wild hairs up my ass to see it. And I've actually read Pride And Prejudice And Zombies, though I don't think it would be up your alley. Just my opinion."

"So then ... choose one."

"Why do I have to choose? I'm doing what I can to make this a joint decision without obligation. But you're spurning me every step of the way, you know. 13 Hours? 5th Wave? I'm *meh* on either of those. So now we're down to Dirty Grandpa - Hello! De Niro! - and The Finest Hours ..."

"I do want to see The Finest Hours. But look, since you can't make up your mind, here's what we'll do ..." 

She took a sheet of paper and tore it into 5 pieces then began writing on one, then the next, folding each individual one as she went along.

"Wait ... which ones are you writing down?"

"What difference does it make? You can't choose, so you can draw straws. Besides ... you'll find out when you pick one."

"Tell you what ... I'll pick one if I know which ones you're writing down ..."

"Don't worry about it. This way it's random."

"No ... it's not random ... because you might be putting down things I might want to see that you don't want to see. And that's not fair ..."

"I guess you'll find out when you choose one, won't you?"

"I'm not going to pick one, then. I want to know which ones you're choosing before I draw ..."

"No. Just find something to put these in so you can do a completely random draw."

"Let me see them first ..."

"No! It doesn't make a difference. You're going to draw one! There's no benefit to knowing what they are in advance."

"Yes, it does! For the reason I said. I might pick one you don't want to see."

"I don't care."

"But I do! Here ... let me see them, please ..."

"No! Will you find something to put these in, please?"

I grabbed a nearby wastebasket, the closest thing to a "hat" I could find that would serve the purpose.
 
"Ewwwwww! Find something else!"

"No. I'm pulling randomly anyway, right? You're not sticking your hand in there ..."

"Good. I'm glad you've accepted you're picking ..."

"Not before I know what each of the five being picked are."

"It doesn't make any difference! You'll be drawing at random!"

"It will affect the way I draw ..."

"No it won't! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You'll be picking at random! How can that affect anything?"

"It will. I'll pick differently. You'll see ..."

"No, it won't. You can't pick differently! 'Random' pick! You do know what 'random' means, right?"

"I guess we'll find out, won't we?"

"RAN-DOM! It's random! There's no way you can pick differently if you're picking at random!"

"Give me some paper," I said.

She gave me a steno pad and I ripped a sheet out of it. I wrote down "If I know what the choices are, I'll pick randomly. If I don't know what the choices are, I will choose the one on the farthest right side of the receptacle." I folded it twice and put it on the table. Then I held out the waste basket for her to deposit the five films she put on paper.

"What's that?" she asked nodding at the folded sheet I placed on the table.

"You can read it after I draw. But I'm going to ask one final time: Are you going to let me see the five picks you've written down?"

"No."

I held the waste basket out for her to deposit the folded choices. I aggressively swirled and shook the basket and handed it to her.
 
"You pick! Not me!"

"I'm telling you it's going to make a difference if I pick as opposed to you picking."

"Give me that!" She grabbed the waste basket then held it out to me so I could choose.

"All right ... but you'll see ..."

I reached in and positioned my hand directly on the right corner feeling for a piece of paper. I inched my way to the left when I couldn't find one, determining which was the furthest to the right side. Then I plucked it out and opened the piece of paper.
 
"Good. It's the one you wanted to see after all ... The Finest Hours. You may now open my piece of paper."

She picked it up, unfolded it and read what I'd written.
 
"This doesn't even make sense," she commented. "How could picking on the right side make any difference on what film you chose?!?"

"I made certain I chose the piece of paper on the most right-handed side of the basket. If I didn't, we wouldn't be going to see The Finest Hours ..."

"It! Was! Random! You had no idea you'd pick that one!"

"If I hadn't picked the one on the furthest right side, we'd be going to see something else, not The Finest Hours."

"You don't know that!"

"Yes, I do. Had I picked randomly, there would have only been a 20% chance I would have picked that film. The odds were against me picking out that particular film. It was a one in 5 chance. By choosing the way I did, I hedged the bet. Randomly, I wouldn't have put my hand to the far right when choosing ..."

"But you didn't know what the other movies WERE because you didn't see them!"

"That really doesn't make any difference now ... does it? Because we're headed to see The Finest Hours Sunday ..."

"That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. It makes no sense ..."

"... but it did prove my point," I offered.

.......... Ruprecht ( just won't STOP ... ever ) 

Order ... There Must Be Order

I saw this this morning:

I did the quick calculation in my head and got the answer right away.

Then, I went down Frustration Lane ... better known as the "comments" section of the posting. 

And I let out a trio of sighs and committed a several discouraging head shakes in the first 10 seconds.

Did no one learn the mathematical Order of Operations in school?

It's not rocket science: Parenthesis, multiplication and division, addition and subtraction.

(There's more, of course, but the equation contains no fractions. Besides, the above OoO is probably confusing enough to a huge gaggle of the public as it is. No sense mucking things up any further than need be.)

*sigh*

Look: I realize everyone has their bents and likes and proclivities just as well as they have things they'd rather steer clear of. But (at least to me) if you attended school the OoO was one of the simplest, most basic concepts taught in mathematics. 

I remember Mr. Harland's response in math class every time it was brought up: 

"Mr. Harland? That's one confusing problem ... "

"No, it isn't. Just follow the Order of Operations and each and every one of you will come up with the correct answer."

But I understand if you don't remember. Or if you didn't pay attention. Or if you simply didn't show up that day during the lesson.

It's just one of those flabbergasting moments for me when I see all sorts of answers to simple math problems as the above, all wrong and all of which should be correct when the OoO is plainly (and properly) employed.

Understand: I'm no math wiz. I make some of the same mistakes everyone else makes in mathematics. It's not my area of expertise and I'm not a Brainiac in that department ... far from it. In no way, shape or form am I superior to anyone reading this when it comes to the above problem ...

... unless you call the common sensical application of the OoO "superior" ...

On the flip side (and to show I'm grounded and clearly susceptible to those "Duh" life moments), to the point of relative recency, I didn't know the proper use of a bathroom exhaust fan.

So, there's that ... 

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

P.S. Even if you don't know or don't remember the Order of Operations, using the formula everyone reading this should come up with the correct answer to the equation ... which is "35" ...

Groundless Rumors Follow-Up

So ... in response to my blog entry of last Saturday, this started happening:

Yep. Exacting documentation.

I was willing to extend the exercise into a fortnight and beyond if that's what it took.

As it turned out? A mere five days were all that was needed to prove my point.

Boom.

.......... Ruprecht ( was STOPped before the fun really even began )

A Tip Too Much

Not actual waitress

"You have a choice: We can go out to breakfast today or next weekend. What say you?" I asked.

"It's going to be a $40.00 affair no matter what. You know that," I was told.

"We're not going to the casino for brunch," I replied. "It's not going to be $40.00."

Off we went. It was decided Mimi's Cafe was the fast breaking point of destination.

When we got there, the place was peppered with only a few patrons. It was still relatively early in the morning, after all, and we wanted to get a jump on our various errands before it got around to Super Bowl time. I had chips to cook, wings to baste, ribs to BBQ and limes to force through the necks of Corona bottles as the big game approached.

We were strategically seated by a young blond kid at the end of one of the rooms, with several booths between us and any others waiting to be served. The place was relatively quiet and comfortable.

My better half ordered eggs and bacon and hot chocolate, I ordered an Andouille and cheese omelet with chipotle sauce and coffee. Our waitress - whose name I didn't catch - was a bit lacking, somewhat clumsy and awkward socially. But she went through the motions and even offered a promotional card which entitling us to meal discounts, free meals, free "crepe" birthday cake on our birthdays as well as an introductory piece of cake to have or take with us that very morning simply for signing up. We partook. (Later, an interesting, delicate piece of cake was presented as a token of appreciation.)

The meal was pleasant enough. Coffee and water refills and checks on our enjoyability didn't come as often as I would have liked, but our experience was easy going and effortless for the most part.

Not actual bill

Afterward, when finished, the check came. Missy excused herself and I told her I would hold tight at the table and wait for her. I stole a look at the tab, $28.08, and deposited a couple twenties in the bill sleeve, making certain they peeked out as indication payment was good to go.

I was daydreaming or some such when the waitress (finally) came around and asked if all was fine. Aimlessly I told her it was. She snatched up the bill and exited quickly. Something about the way she took off was a bit out of place and it finally dawned on me she wasn't coming back with any change.

I did a quick mental calculation: 10% of the bill was $2.80, 20% was $5.60. I didn't have any qualms about leaving her $5.00 despite the fact she was completely average in her service, a bit underwhelming in fact. But the better part of $12.00 was a 30% tip! I mentally slapped myself and wondered if I should call her back.

... but ...

... why look like an ass? It was my mistake after all and it wasn't worth the effort. Besides, we did get a free piece of crepe cake out of the deal ... whatever "crepe cake" was. I decided to let it slide and not squawk. It wasn't worth the effort. 

And I remembered: Before we left the house Missy did call that breakfast was going to cost $40.00. Called it to the penny.

.......... Ruprecht ( needs to STOP and think in the future before poo-pooing a restaurant bill )

P.S. "Crepe cake" is a cake made of crepes. (Which I don't like.) Tasting it, it reminded me of cake made out of layers of old tortillas. It was unceremoniously tossed in the waste bin.

Actual crepe cake

Groundless Rumors

Over the last few months, someone in my household (someone who is not me) has been perpetuating suspect, mendacious and groundless rumors I wear too many pairs of underwear over the course of any given week.

While going "commando" would effectively put the kibosh on the situation, I have decided a different tact is in order. Because this hearsay stops now.

Proof is forthcoming.  Stay tuned ...

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

Never Invited

Sometimes, I miss out on the good parties and events ...

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )