I'm A Feng Shui Master

I was discussing a few things with an estate sale "stager" the other day while inside a house going up for sale and the following conversation took place ...

"If you have a moment, do you mind running through the house with me to let me know what I can and cannot take?" I asked the stager.

"Sure," she replied.

"This room: What would you like left?"

"Just about everything. Anything removed from it will make it look empty. But ... you can definitely take the mirror."

"I thought that would be one thing you'd want to remain, being it will leave a gaping hole on the wall over the mantle. Are you certain?"

"Yes," she said. "It's not Feng Shui."

"Really? How so?"

"Any negative energy from outside the house would be reflected into the house with the mirror facing the window like that. That's against Feng Shui principles."

"Hmmmmm. Well ... what about any negative energy projected by new tenants from inside the house? Wouldn't the mirror, in that position, deflect that energy outside? But ... I guess that wouldn't be fair to the neighborhood ... would it?" I punned at her.

I got rewarded with a dirty look.

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

As in ... stop taunting Feng Shui believers 

Right Thinking

I awoke early this morning as usual and it immediately occurred to me:

"You know? I bet there are probably 4 things - no ... wait ... 5 things! - I probably don't know about Neanderthals ..."

Imagine my surprise ...

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP thinking )
"... but ... I thought ..."

The Theater Of The Obvious - Kwikies

There aren't too many people who don't get the irony of The Maine State Lottery's proposed revamp of their scratch tickets and its consequences ...
 
... well ...
 
... except for The Maine State Lottery, that is. 

And Gerry Reid, director of the Maine Bureau Alcoholic Beverages and Lottery Operations: "It’s not the state’s intent to be provocative."
 
Scratch tickets become ‘Kwikies’ in lottery rebranding,
retailers ‘very upset about it’

 

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

 

I Love Comments

Let's face it: A large part of the fun of blogging / posting on Freakbook / McTwittering / ad nauseum comes from the responses we garner from blogging / posting on Freakbook / McTwittering / ad nauseum. 

At least it is for me.

Most of the time I do what I do because I like to do it, nothing more. However, there are select times when it fulfills a requirement inside me commanding "Use your words!" ... comments be damned. It's a kind of catharsis, a release if you will, with the end result being a little twinge of satisfaction a few sentences (sometimes quite a lot more than a few sentences) have been committed to two dimensions.

But ... there's that large part that looms, that part that gets off seeing what others have to say about what's written.

As a result of reading those comments, I've laughed, I've become angry, I've shaken my head (too many times to acknowledge), spewed my beverage of choice, struck up friendships, had my jaw dropped painfully on the desk. And each and every one have made perfect sense in their own ways because the writer has something to respond or convey as a direct result of what they've read. 

It's the comments as follow I have trouble trying to make sense of. I've collected a few examples of recent responses from posts I've written along with a couple from my fellow colleagues' posts.  I've sited the original writings if you're so inclined to peruse what initiated the comments. Trust me, though ... it's not much help where the writers of these four items are coming from. (All below have since been marked as spam and were deleted. I'd've rather had them left on the posts as comic relief, personally.)

Thanks for your blog post. I would like to say that your health insurance brokerage also works best for the benefit of the particular coordinators of your group insurance. The health insurance agent is given an index of benefits searched for by anyone or a group coordinator. What a broker can is hunt for individuals or maybe coordinators which will best go with those needs. Then he provides his suggestions and if both parties agree, the particular broker formulates a legal contract between the two parties.
(Taken from my post Arguably the best American Idol audition ever … yes, ever)

Uhmmm ... wasn't I talking about American Idol in the post above. Because I thought was.

Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to mention that I've truly loved surfing around your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing to your feed and I am hoping you write once more very soon! (Taken from the post Reasons why season 6 of True Blood will be hard to sink my teeth into by Kim Tibbs)

While commenter appears to have "truly loved surfing around" Kim's post and others, she apparently feels there is only one final piece left for her to compose.

What i don't realize is in reality how you're no longer truly a whole lot far more well-favored than you might be proper now. That you are so intelligent. You realize thus considerably when it comes to this topic, produced me personally consider it from so several varied angles. Its like girls and males are not fascinated unless it is something to do with Lady gaga! Your personal stuffs outstanding. At all times deal with it up! (Taken from my post American Idol: Why Nicki Minaj was late to the top 10 performances and other stuff)

I don't know about you, but I loved that one ...

This is a single great post. We are currently trying to find adjustable piano bench for own house and also this is unquestionably of great resource! (Taken from the post Badass ladies of DC Nation by Katie Schenkel)

Katie says: "I spammed this already, but I thought it would be helpful for you all to know that I am unquestionably of great resource for adjustable residential piano bench information." Who knew she was a great resource?

Hi there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it is truly informative. I'm gonna watch out for brussels. I will be grateful if you continue this in future. Many people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers! (Taken from my post Those were the boys on American Idol this week … right?)

Now ... while I appreciate the writer has become aware of my post (or "blog" as s/he has erroneously noted) and the fact many will benefit from it, I don't know where the "brussels" reference came from. There's nary a mention of the city or the sprouts in my writing. Could the commenter have meant "bustles" rather than "brussels" ... ??? That would make a little more sense ... but not much.


Of course, none of the above compare to that of one particular comment received by one of my colleagues. I will probably forever be jealous of that one ...

Regardless of my jealousy, however, I look foward to any comment that comes my way as a result of what I have to blather. They're little wrapped packages of surprise waiting to be read and - sometimes - comprehended.
 

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

 

The Theatre Of The Obvious - It's A Verb

Ladies & Gentlemen:


For your dining and dancing pleasure, may I present a real-life example of ... The Obvious:

Tonianne DeMaria Barry: "Love ... It's a verb. Now get to it."

Jim Benson: "Verbing."

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

Dad Of The Year

I think I'm in the running for Dad Of The Year. I'll let you decide.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I volunteered to help chaperone my daughter's school trip to see the world's single largest collection of mummies from around the world. Salt Lake City's "The Leonardo" museum was hosting "Mummies Of The World." A busload of students had been unloaded, tagged, instructed and more on what to expect and how to conduct themselves.

But first, one of the museum docents was giving everyone a little history lesson on "The Leonardo" as a primer:

"Does anyone know who 'The Leonardo' was named after?" She chose a raised hand from the 50 students anxiously shuffling their feet, waiting to get on with the show.

"Leonardo Da Vinci" came a response.

"Correct. And what was Leonardo famous for? What did he do?" she asked and, again, began pointing at raised hands.

"He was a painter."

"An inventor!"

"He made that guy out of rock."

"Didn't he dream up the first helicopter?"

I decided to raise my hand:

"Are you sure it was that Leonardo? Not one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ... ???"

 
The kids all turned and looked at me. The teacher who organized the museum run stared my way. 2 additional teachers along for the ride and 5 other adult volunteers gaped at me as well.

Crickets. All you could here were crickets.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 
That same day - the day of the museum tour - my other daughter shot me a text around noontime from her school:

"Thanks Dad" it said. It was accompanied with the following photo:

"It was made with love!" I replied.

"Yeah kinda." I could read the sarcasm between the lines. "I didn't eat it, sorry."

"... or mold ... same thing!"

"*haha* Too funny, Dad. *haha*"

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

The Necessity Of Invention

I turned off the kitchen faucet after doing the dishes and I heard whispering ...

*whisper whisper whisper*

Me: "What are you two whispering about?"

In unison: "Nothing!"

Me: "'Nothing' ... ??? What's the point of whispering about nothing? Come on. You had to have been whispering about something ..."

Daughter #1: "Well, we were whispering about ... whispering."

Me: "That's dumb. Who would do that? Who would whisper about whispering?"

Daughter #2: "We would, that's who ..."

Daughter #1: "And if it's so dumb, why would they have invented whispering?"

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )