Monday, September 28, 2015

A Little Bit Over

What is "a little bit?"

A small spoonful more vegetables at dinner? A top off of wine? A quarter screw-turn more on a bolt? 

All depends on the circumstances. 

I ventured into the grocery store recently on a quick stop at the deli to see if there was anything to catch my eye for a good side dish for my on-the-fly dinner at work. A red and white potato salad with hatch chilis sounded different and I asked the girl behind the counter for half a pound. I knew I had about $3.00 in my pocket so at $4.99 a pound that worked out perfectly.

Glopping the salad in a container atop a scale, she announced the amount was "a bit over ... is that okay?" I told her no problem and was handed my purchase. 

I discovered at check out, however, that "little bit over" came to $4.05. Wait ... what? I was under the impression the amount of overage, the "little bit," would be miniscule, not in fact (and I did a quick mental calculation) more than 60% of that requested.

That was a big difference. .815 pounds is not "a little bit more" than half a pound. And when you're not exactly certain how much cash you have in your pocket and you unexpectedly have to fork over $4.00+ instead of the $2.50 you had planned on paying well ... that's rather the jump.

Luckily I was able to make up the difference in the pocket change I had on me so no harm, no foul. 

But it got me thinking: 60% is not "a little bit" ... I don't care who you are. By comparison, had I ordered a pound of some specialty deli meat at $11.99 a pound and I got 60% more, it would have topped out at the better part of $20.00! See what I mean?

In that scenario, a stink would have been raised. 

But not over a buck fifty for potato salad. A buck fifty it just so happened I had, fortunately.

The potato salad was delicious, by the way ...

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

Friday, September 25, 2015

Dear Safeway $5 Friday Ad Manager

Dear Safeway $5 Friday Ad Manager:

I'ven't'd any complaints with any of the weekly advertisements you've put out in the past. They've all been short, sharp and shocked, no questions ...

... until today's ad that is.

Virtually all the products noted are to the point. You know what is being hocked either by the photo provided or by the accompanying description.

I can plainly see the cheese is cheese, the bag of tortillas are, in fact, tortillas, that the Jif is peanut butter (as if there's anyone out there who doesn't know what Jif is but, you know, it's appreciated by somebody it's called out as peanut butter) and that All American Sub Sandwich is, indeed, a sub sandwich by inclusion of its name in the description.

But ... there's one exception:

What the hell is "Pirate's Booty" ... ??!? Gold doubloons? (No. At $5 there's no possible way.) Miniature chocolate gold doubloons? (Makes sense ... but only 12 of them? That would make them about 42¢ a pop which sounds a bit pricey.) Gummi Bears in the shape of pirate's backsides? (Now that would be funny.) Something else entirely? 

You see ... I have no clue what Pirate's Booty is. There's no description of it and the print on the packaging is so minuscule it's unreadable. Thus, I was forced to hunt for myself as to what kind of product Pirate's Booty is.

Which wasn't all that difficult.

I'm all the wiser now that I know the product is aged white cheddar baked rice and corn puffs.

I was just annoyed for a few moments and needed to satisfy my curiosity. Because I don't let things bug me to the point of "I wonder what the hell that is?" and then mentally toss the question aside. 

I want to find out about it, no matter how trivial the information gleaned might be.

So: Safeway $5 Friday Ad Manager? Get on the stick and take this as a friendly jibe to do your job a little better, please.

You're Welcome, Rupe 

.......... Ruprecht ( doesn't STOP at merely wondering about things, finds them out )

Thursday, September 24, 2015

T-Shirt Collection: Lyle Lovett

It's well worn and relegated to the "yard work wear" collection of shirts but this faded, thread-bare black Tee brings fond memories of attending Lovett's Park City, Utah concert in the summer of 2001 on the ski slopes of Deer Valley Resort under the stars.

And if you haven't ever seen the man in concert, it's well worth your time to do so. Everyone I've recommended his concerts to has become a fan.

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

Monday, September 21, 2015

The Decline Of Western Civilization (cont.)

From the post to the photo and right on down to the comments therein, every single thing about this image is frightening.

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

Saturday, September 19, 2015

T-Shirt Collection: Tales From The Dougside

It seems like ages since I put in a Kickstarter backing for Douglas Arthur's 20th Anniversary reprints. 

I contributed not only funds but I submitted a forward for one of the volumes. (Thankfully, it wasn't rejected.)

For my efforts, one of the rewards was this spiffy "backers only" T-shirt, the latest shirt in my extensive collection. 

Yet to be washed, brand spankin' new, never ironed and first time donned, it is presented here for your dining and dancing pleasure.   


Interested or curious about the reprints? You can purchase them here along with other delights. 

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

T-Shirt Collection: The Unbelievables

One of the ultra-rare collector's shirts of that crime-fighting trio. 

What? You don't know of The Unbelievables? Well ...

One day, three altruistic rogues (Jeff Hickmott, Clark Brooks and myself) were lounging around the racquetball club when we decided to use our unique skills and senses of style to form a non-government affiliated, multi-jurisdictional, not-for-profit crime & injustice fighting organization.

On that day The Unbelievables were born. Originally, their adventures were chronicled in the top-secret files of The Kitsch Bitsch but now, we explode in your face (metaphorically speaking of course) on our own website thrice weekly and on other media outlets everywhere.

Interested in sexy, action-packed adventures of double-knit clad men? Polyester fashions accented with un-ironic mustaches? Does macrame underwear do it for you? Crime-stopping? Helping your fellow man? If so, you'll love The Unbelievables!

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

My Cousin, The Comedian

My cousin thinks he's a joker, a real comedian. 

He claimed, long ago, he wrote out a few lists of things indicative of who I am - some quirks, kinks and characteristics. 

But, when asked to produce these alleged lists, they were "conveniently misplaced" or "lost somewhere."

Well sir? Supposedly they've "resurfaced," miraculously found while cleaning some room or another.

For your consideration (along with each item typed out for legibility) I present said lists. I leave it to you to figure out which items are statements of fact and which are falsehoods.


- Cholula with rice
- Will wash dishes but tends to break them
- Loves dogs, tolerates cats
- Likes Cholula w/ eggs
- Cholula w/ meat
- Cholula w/ chicken
- Cholula on toast
- Cholula in milk
- Favorite beer - Coors Light
- 2nd favorite beer - Corona w/ lime
- Gives up something for Lent - but cheats on weekends
- Still drinks milk
- Watches - American Idol, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Survivor
- Caffinated coffee w/ Coffeemate - French vanilla (1-pot)
- Sometimes the computer is his third appendage
- Would prefer to suffer through a cold than take asprin, Nyquil or antihistamine
- Flu shots? - HA!!

- Keeps files of everybody & everything
- A pretty good chef - except for corn muffins, always stick to the paper
- Makes a mean corn salad
- loves corn on the cob, corn bread, corn chowder, corn tortillas - you get it? He likes corn
- Once his hair is combed, don't touch it
- Loves the dollar menu at McDonald's and Arco
- A good barbequer as long as there's a Coors Light in his hand (barbeque beer)
- Would love to own a pair of Magnum P.I. shorts
- Loves beach parties
- Comic-Con maniac
- Lucha libre impersonator
- Don't get between him & The Walking Dead
- Award winning holiday decorator
- Most things can be fixed with duct tape
- Likes toasted English muffins
- Occasionally goes on a "beer diet"
- World's authority on obscure music
- Prefers any "live" music to recorded
- Knocked over the Michelin Man
- Speaks perfect Spanglish

.......... Ruprecht ( STOP )